The subtle art of bullsh*t: Understanding deepities and false-wisdoms.
Hello, have you ever come across one of those sentences that appeared to sum up life, only to find out it was utter nonsense? You know, the sort that simultaneously makes you feel like a genius and an absolute moron? Well, my buddy, those are referred to be “deepities,” and they involve mental acrobatics that never seem to stop.
Your mind will be left wondering things like, “What does it sound like when one hand claps?” or “Does a tree fall in the wild create a sound if no one is nearby to hear it?” Ah, deep stuff. Yet, when you think about it, they’re all just a load of nonsense.
It’s similar to trying to solve a riddle that has two or more contradictory answers, or worse, has no answer at all. Or being stuck on a rollercoaster that never stops or being lost in a maze with no escape. When you understand you’re merely chasing your tail, it seems like you’re on the verge of realising the truth.
In a recent article for The Guardian, Oliver Burkeman shared his struggles with deepities. He described how reading cryptic pronouncements, such as “The wise are wise only because they love”, “There are no ends, only means”, from writers like Paulo Coelho left his brain feeling like a week-old trifle. The statements sound like they could be true, but they’re so vague that they could also be completely false.
So, what exactly is a deepity? It’s a statement that can be interpreted in more than one way. On the surface, it appears to be true but trivial, but upon further examination, it’s false and could be mind-blowing if it were true. And they are so widespread because paradoxical ideas and advice are often appealing.
It is a concept invented by the adolescent daughter of one of Daniel Dennett’s acquaintances and first used by him in his 2009 speech to the American Atheists conference.
Let’s take a look at a few common examples of deepities:
A. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
This phrase is like a dad joke; it’s funny because it’s true…sometimes. It’s often used to mean that you shouldn’t try to fix something that’s already working, but let’s face it, sometimes things need to be updated or improved, even if they’re not technically “broke”. I mean, I’m constantly updating my phone even when it’s not broken, just to keep up with the latest emojis.
B. “Love is just a word.”
Sure, love is made up of letters like any other word in the English language, so it’s technically true but also trivial. However, love is much more than just a word. It’s an emotion, an attachment, an affection, and so much more. Therefore, the statement is false and would be ridiculous if all we felt for someone was based on mere words.
B. “Age is just a number.”
Age is a number, that much is true, but it’s also so much more. Age is a representation of our experiences, our histories, our lives. If it were just a number, it would be uninspiring and meaningless.
C. “There is no ‘I’ in team.”
This statement is often used to promote teamwork, but unfortunately, it fails the deepity-integrity test. Sure, there is no ‘I’ in team, but there is also no ‘you,’ ‘us,’ or ‘we.’ However, there is an ‘I’ in victory, which implies that individual effort is essential for the success of a team.
D. “No two kids have the same parents.”
It’s meant to imply that every child has a special bond with their parents, but it also conveys a sense of deepity. Come on, you have to have the same parents as your sibling or brother if you share a mother and father. That is comparable to claiming that “no two snowflakes are precisely same” — well, we understand that each snowflake is unique, but they are all still formed of water.
But let’s face it: we may have shared parents, but our interactions with them were very different. It seems as though we came from two very different households.
E. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
I mean, who doesn’t want to eat cake once they have it? This comment is a deepity since it appears to imply that you cannot enjoy something while still keeping it, but the entire point of having a cake is to eat it!
F. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
While in certain circumstances this remark could be accurate, it’s not always the case. What doesn’t kill you sometimes just leaves you with a lot of trauma and expensive therapy costs. Also, a lot of activities that can strengthen you without having you nearly pass out include lifting weights and talking to me.
G. “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
This is the type of thing your aunt, who has a Facebook page full of motivational quotations, might say. But let’s face it, there are many destinations in life, such as earning a degree or finding love (I’m still on the journey though). This claim oversimplifies life’s intricacies and conveys the idea that striving for or having objectives is pointless.
Try this out: “Beauty is only skin-deep.” What do you think, deepity or not?
People just like offering contradictory pieces of advise that, although seemingly life-changing, are only somewhat more helpful than a submarine’s screen door. So the next time someone says something profound to you, just nod, smile, and get on with your day. For life is too short to waste time pursuing useless mental gymnastics.
In conclusion, deepities may seem profound at first glance, but upon closer inspection, they often turn out to be nothing more than meaningless babble.
I received valuable assistance from ChatGPT, a language model trained by OpenAI, in writing this article. While I authored the content, I sought guidance and suggestions from ChatGPT to improve the quality and clarity of the piece. Thank you, ChatGPT!”
